Sam's Son

by Ellen Pepper

Standing here at the edge of the precipice
contemplating the length of time it would take my body
to hit the river far, far below.
Such a blisteringly hot and sunny day.
I wonder what keeps me from jumping.

I have a new baby,
a son,
I am a Dad now.
He won't let us sleep
two months he's been crying,
protesting his birth.
I am tired unto death.
And I worry,
Telling me to stop worrying is like
 telling sand to become a tree.

Imagine, just imagine
if I accidentally fell over the edge.
Imagine.

I wake up gasping.
Was that a dream
or just the sound of thunder.

Again, I stare into the abyss,
Calculating how long it would take,
Falling into the void
Wind whistling in my ears,
Would time slow down
as it often does during consequential events?
What would kill me -
the fear stopping my heart
or the...

Would I drown first or
would the
splattering of my body into a billion pieces as
I smash into the savage rocks in the water end me?

Again, I wake gasping and sweaty.
The kid is squalling,
the mother goes to him.

Ah, here I stand again,
One stumble and I am free.
Let me just get closer.
Oh! The edge gave way.
I fall.
I fear.
The wind is cold.
I'm tumbling over in the air.
Such a long way down.
Time stretches out.
I cannot breathe.

The water reaches up to me,
coming closer,
This is the end of...



©Ellen Pepper 2025