Not Tied to the Whipping Post
by Ellen Pepper
That's what I said after a hard day at the grocery stores.
"You'll have to punish yourself, no need to boast.
The clamps and zipties are in your set of drawers."
Just getting there had its lows,
with my Hollywood hairstyle all askew -
the wind gusting through the truck's open windows.
I entered a store looking like a shrew.
The produce at the first store was moldy and soggy.
The prices obscene; the staff were friendly.
The aisles were clean and some shelves were empty.
The meat smelled of manure, the cheap steaks were $35.
The cheese was on sale, if you like the blue growth.
The yogurt, out of date a month ago, but
Tortillas were even older and quite tough to the touch.
The staff were friendly, though.
A short wait for a cashier
who evidently was deafened since the last visit.
She was friendly enough, though.
Just emotionally distant.
The second store is for the well-to-do,
So prices are hilariously over the top.
A pint box of Mexican strawberries only $9.99
A sterling silver steak at $72.
All of the stores are humongously large.
So much walking is involved,
That I don't have to exercise at home.
And that's a saving grace.
At home, the putting away begins,
And ends about an hour later,
with chickens bagged and frozen.
And everything in its place.
"So no, honey,
Not in the mood to rhyme this song.
I'm just too tired to kick you in the balls tonight.
You go on and amuse yourself, oh, and
Sweetie? Can you peel me a grape?"
©Ellen Pepper 2025
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