SHEBA

You were difficult to know.
So moody, so hard-ass,
but kind to the weak and feeble.
Gentle with kids and old people.
And men. 
You liked men, but
You snarled at the vet.

Your music choice was smooth jazz.
You savored chicken livers.

You insisted on wearing a leash for walks
like your friends at the dog park.

You were always your own person.
I thought we had more time.

One day you refused to eat or drink.
Your litterbox was empty.
You slept  all the time.

A vet came to see you but...
you refused her help.
She said there was
 nothing 
she could do.

You took to sleeping on my pillow,
your green velvet chair abandoned.

Early one morning.
you gave a deep, disturbing sigh...
and you were gone.

I still see you from the corner of my eye,
basking in a shaft of afternoon sunlight.
Your golden eyes and cinnamon fur
keeping me company,
though you've been gone so long.

Sheba.
We only had thirteen years.
I promised to remember you.
I do.
I remember you.

©Ellen Pepper 2026

What He Did Wrong

 
I am the ghost.
I slipped away while he slept.
Our last night together was sublime, as usual.
He's wondering what he did wrong.

He thought I was sleeping.
He thought he couldn't be heard
 on his phone,
with his head  under a pillow.

He'd whispered:
Hey Jamie, I miss you.
No, I can't leave her yet - it's her Daddy's money,
you know this.
The pre-nup will make me  poor.

I can't.

I'll call you tonight, for sure, babe.
Be patient!
 Love you Jamie, 
love you. "

He slept more deeply than I.
Without waking him, 
moving quickly, 
I grabbed my things.
Flew to a faraway city for a new life.
Daddy's money paid for it.

He didn't know what he did wrong. 
Shaking everyone down to find me,
he even asked my sisters...
He didn't know what he did wrong.

Sure thing, buddy. 

Finally, I sent him a text about the coming divorce.
He wouldn't let go -
demanded more money "to set up a new life."
He said he didn't know what he'd done wrong.
That I'd imagined everything,
though I'd said nothing about his night call.

His messages came like a waterfall.
No need to reply. 
I no longer cared.

Months later, I heard that he'd married -
it turns out his new mate...
was his best friend ... James.

And still he didn't think he'd done wrong.

©Ellen Pepper 2026

Tarquin's Tale

"We were so much in love.
Our last night together was sublime, as usual.
But, when the morning came, she vanished like a ghost.
I woke alone with only the scent of her perfume on my pillow.
What did I do wrong?"

He tried so hard to find her.
He called, he asked friends, he asked strangers -
"where has she gone?"
Fortune tellers couldn't say. They wouldn't say.
Even her sisters claimed not to know.
What did he do wrong?

He'd hoped they would marry.
He'd hoped they'd make babies.
He'd hoped that she loved him.
And yet, she went away. And he wondered,
"What did I do wrong?"

And then one day she sent him a message.
He replied and...
She gave him breadcrumbs but not a meal -
 only snippets of chat - nothing personal. 
Just facts.
Like a stranger. 
Then more silence. 
He sent messages with no replies.
He  felt like a fool for reaching out

And then it ended in his heart.
He wouldn't try again.
She didn't want him - that's clear.
One thing will always haunt him, like a ghost...
What did he do wrong?

©Ellen Pepper 2026

Butterfly Visit

Heart fluttering like the wings
of that white/yellow butterfly
that follows me around as I walk
in the garden.

I lay me down on the viridity of grass.
fragrant from recent mowing.
Looking up, I fall into the azure summer sky
while green spears poke through my gown.

If it was night,
I could ascend into a field of stars.
But now, all I have to bounce on
are the soft shimmering clouds.

Holding this heart,
tenderly,
I sing to it a lullaby,
Soothing it like a swaddled child.

Kittens are frolicking nearby,
some are playing hide and seek,
peeking through shrubbery
watching while I sigh.

My butterfly friend beckons.
Wants to be followed.
I'm not ready for that,
I've  more songs yet to sing.

 

 ©Ellen Pepper 2026

Sterling Silver Starlight

Sterling silver starlight
dappled the limpid lake waters
as we sat on the sand 
 laughing about silly things.

When we were young.

Then you mentioned Janice West,
I'll never forget that moment.
You said  she was so fine 
and that you
wanted her in your family.

Something shattered inside me,
I bowed my head and hugged my knees.
You saw my sadness and chuckled,
I thought I'd die.

Then you put your arm around me,
pulled me close and simply said
 you thought she'd wed your brother -
'cause they'd be a perfect match.

We were young.

Five years later, we sat with our baby
on the same stretch of sand,
the day after a storm with debris all 'round.
We sang folk songs and lullabies.

Ten years later,
there were five of us on the beach,
 eroded from all the wild storms,
but we still had a fire and we sang.

We were not as young.

Another ten years passed
 and we sat alone on our beach.
The children were older and  out with friends.
We were glad to be  alone,
like when we were young.

And then twenty years passed quickly.
The lake was stormy with strong waves,
We spoke of many things,
preparing ourselves,
should one leave before the other.

We were no longer young.

And then the day came that you were gone.
I sat alone on the beach
looking up at the sterling silver starlight,
knowing you were up there...
without me.



©Ellen Pepper 2026

 https://youtu.be/4aZdJHHFkhY?si=O3ox9Ck-yVCltD9N

LOVE IS YOUR ANCHOR

 Floating on the surface of life,
feeling too deeply to settle down.
Your heart has no anchor
you’re drifting
drifting without love,
on the Sargasso Sea.

Like the Ancient Mariner but,
for you, it lasts
year after year, year after year,
You’re stuck barely breathing -
Like an oil painting
on an artist’s canvas.

Why did you slay the albatross?
He could have led you away from
the icy Antarctic of the heart.
How long will you bear him
hanging from your neck?

You’re all alone,
surrounded by the corpses of the lost.
Your life held in the balance
by a nightmare’s fierce woman.

Love will come to you when
you’ve opened your mind
to the beauty 
and the light.
And come away from the dark of your mind.

Your trance will fade and your ship will sail.
You’ll see the lighthouse of your Home.
Then you’ll breathe your joy, and
You’ll find that love is your anchor.
Love is your anchor.

©Ellen Pepper 2026

WHEN I'M HAPPY

There were no tears 
when you were taken away.
No tears while you were stuck in chains.
No crying at your return.

I only cry when I'm happy now.

You never said what happened.
You didn't notice the pain.
You did what you had to do.
I guess you'll never explain.

I only cry when I'm happy now.

 That Tuesday morning
when I saw you were gone,
I stood at the window,
your bike still on the lawn.

I only cry when I'm happy now.

Now you're living at Belmont.
You wear rather fine clothes.
You sneer at the poor,
cuz they've nothing you want.

I only cry when I'm happy now.

I have my own space here.
I never call out.
Amusing self daily,
I live in the now. 

I only cry when I'm happy now.
I laugh only too well.
My friends are the angels,
Who saved me from hell.

I only cry when I'm happy now.

 ©Ellen Pepper 2026

 

FOOLED

 It's 3 in the morning, you're restless beside me.
Our bed so silent and sad,
Your sleepy hands reach out to hold me,
and I freeze.

We haven't spoken in days -
 since your phone lit up
 with an incoming call 
from Willa, my best friend.

I asked you why she'd be calling you 
when you were supposed to be at work.
You bridled and shouted that I had been spying.
That's when I lost my words.

We haven't spoken in days.

Willa denied that something was up.
I could tell she was hiding the truth.
She wouldn't come clean, she kept saying to wait.
I walked away feeling betrayed.

We haven't spoken in days. 

Heartache and anger were ruling my heart.
I vowed to leave you again.
Started packing my bags and finding a place.
Knowing that this time I wouldn't be back.

We haven't spoken in days.

Then yesterday morning, you asked to meet me -
at the cafe in which we first met.
Puzzled, I said sure, and thought that was strange,
but then I knew that we'd be saying goodbye.

We hadn't spoken in days.

 All day, I kept myself busy,
Not wanting to think of the rest of my life.
I drove to the cafe, sad and scared,
And there you were at the door, waiting.

You smiled, and my heart soared,
I missed you already,
We walked through inside the cafe, and...
Shouts of "SURPRISE!" shook me up.

We hadn't spoken in days.
You and Willa had planned a party.
Nothing nefarious was going on and
I wasted time worrying for nothing.

When the hubbub settled, 
you smiled at me and sang our song,
"Soul deep,
choose love over fear,
a loyal heart is true."

We hadn't spoken in days.

©Ellen Pepper 2026

https://youtu.be/7Dy07bHY08g?si=W79SyLc1JUodw_UD

Your presence lingers.

Your presence lingers.
Though you rode away to fight the war -
your stallion rearing up in anticipation -
your heart stayed here at home.

Your presence lingers,

Though the persistence of  conflict
has torn you away from loved ones.
Images of you are burnt in my mind.

Your rough hands with tender touch.
Your eyes glinting with mischief.
Your wild, tousled hair reflecting the sun.
The way you threw back your head  in laughter.

Your presence lingers.

Your name is spoken every day.
No message has arrived.
Rumours have you at the front.

Another day has come and gone.
The battle scenes are noised about
by those who left and returned.
It’s been so long since you left...

Your presence lingers,

Your clothes haven't lost your scent.
We don’t know what to expect.
Some say the foreign King’s forces triumph.

The word came this morn,
 our army has been defeated.
That you’ve been lost in battle,
and will never come home again, 
never.
Still...
Your presence lingers.

STEPPING AWAY

 

Where can you go,
where the news is not?
How to find peace while bombs fall?
Where is relief from the horrors?
It's not easy to step away from the news.

You find your dreams haunted by sorrow.
You run to the forest of happier thoughts.
Yet, the images persist and grow.
Your soul cries out. Your eyes spill tears.
It's not easy to step away from your mind.

How can you calm your soul?
You try to end despair with levity,
but that's too hollow.
You try to escape into nostalgia,
 but it's not easy to evade the now.

Where can you go,
where the news is not?
What can erase despair?
When will relief arise at the end of the day?
it's not easy to step away.

©Ellen Pepper 2026

The Time for Forgiveness...

When the shouting ends.
The tears stop falling.
The rage internalizes.
They've said it all.
The time for forgiveness has come.

He said,
She said,
Neither one agreed.
He despised her excuses.
She condemned his cruelty.
The time for forgiveness has come.

They did the dance of anger,
betrayal,
and lies.
They exhausted excuses.
The time for forgiveness has come.

In future years, they'll wonder,
"Was it all in vain?"
Thinking back and fumbling facts,
nostalgia softens pain.
The time for forgiveness has come.

They meet for coffee,
just to talk.
So many years gone by.
Time to atone for failures,
The time for forgiveness has come.

Later, after absolution,
they walk away in silence -
regretting time lost to ego and pride.
They vow to love again.
The time for forgiveness has come.



 ©Ellen Pepper 2026

Nobody knows your name...

 Nobody knows your name.
Still, you're trying so hard.
So damn hard, to be seen.
You wander the streets
 with your heart on your sleeve,
Hoping somebody calls your name.

Lord, nobody knows your name.
Nobody knows your name.

And nobody knows your heart,
do they?
Nobody knows your song.
Nobody sees you walking,
Nobody sees you dance.

Lord, nobody knows your name.
Nobody knows your name.

My earnest friend,
you work so hard.
You lay down the tracks,
every day in your studio.
But nobody knows your name.

Lord, nobody knows your name.
Nobody knows your name.

One day soon,
after all these years,
your dream will come true,
your name will find fame.

And everyone will know your name.
You find your talent will bring you fame.
Your words will be known, 
Your songs will be sung.

And everyone will know you,
Some will love you,
Some will shun you,
But everyone will know your name.


 ©Ellen Pepper 2026

Lullabye for the Little One

 

Come to me, my little one,
I'll hold you while you sleep. 
Come to me, little one,
We have dreams to keep.

We've spent the day together,
Stayed in -  away from weather.
We played with song and toys.
We laughed with all the joys.

And now, you'll want to rest a while.
Close your eyes with contented smile.

Mama tucks your blanket in,
and Papa kisses you on your chin.
We love you so, little one.
Be cozy, as your sleep is won.

And now, your eyes are drooping down;
your tiny hands are folded.
You snuggle deeper under cover;
there's no need for us to hover.

Sleep tight, little one.
Tomorrow will come soon.

©Ellen Pepper 2026

Give it Up

It's sad to say but
you look like silly, old lady
 hangin' onto a dream
 that can never come true.
 
Give it up,
give it up,
find new dreams,
before you die.

You wander 'round the city,
looking for the one you left behind,
but you lost him,
you lost him with your pride.

Give it up,
give it up,
find new dreams,
before you die.

You thought you'd call him back some day,
But you never got around to it.
Life chewed you up and spit you out,
now there's nothing left to hit.

Give it up,
give it up,
find new dreams,
before you die.

There's nothing left of charm and grace.
Just tear-runneled skin and flabby thighs.
You wasted time by chasing,
and pleasing, other guys.

Give it up,
give it up,
find new dreams,
before you die.

You need a hobby, girl.

©Ellen Pepper 2026

Just a Few Minutes

 

 

The macro is too intense.
Wars, tariffs, crimes against nature,
disease outbreaks, lies, 
murders, rapes, 
and evils without end.

I'm going to need a few minutes to myself, if you don't mind.


The micro is weighing me down.
Property taxes and bill payments due;
dentist needs money, too.
Snow continues to fall. As do temperatures.

I'm going to need a few minutes to myself, if you don't mind.


The feral cats are about to go on walkabout -
looking for love in all the wrong places.
All the other animals are suffering winter famine.
Life is a hard thing to live, in the wild.

I'm going to need a few minutes to myself, if you don't mind.


The world is wailing in its sleep.
So much pain and sorrow.
Nobody can see a better tomorrow.
Grief is all around.
The white house is hosting a clown without a mind.
It's all gone to shit.

I'm going to need a few minutes to myself, if you don't mind.


Things are about to shift in order to
repair this horrific misalignment.
How can we hurry it along?
We can't. 
Patience is needed for the aspects to unite.
Keep the focus on the incoming change.

I'm going to need a few minutes to myself, if you don't mind.
Take a few minutes for yourself, I don't mind.


©Ellen Pepper 2026
quote: Anne Lamotte