Bed of Secrets

  Listen to the thunder.
The rain pelts the pane hard and fast.
His calloused hand  caresses her delicate skin,
moving along her thigh.

She sighs.
He watches her smiling face.

Rain mesmerizes.

He speaks of his life.
Its joys and sorrow.
His women and their talents.
His many betrayals.

She heeds his words,
seeking truth in the telling.

Thunder bangs in the sky.

He strokes her silky hair.
Looks intently into her hazel eyes,
seeking her untold secrets.

Thunder peals. Rain pounds harder.
The lights are out, the room is dark.
It's 11 in the morning on a Saturday.
No need to leave the bed, so they don't.

Satie shapes the mood.
Scent of petrichor surrounds, somehow.
Sheets are tangled with love and heat.
The wind blows fierce, in the terrace trees.

Thunder excites their senses.

It's time to enter the day,
Leave the bed of secrets.
No one will know what's been done.
No one will sense their joy.

The storm stalks away.
The sudden silence rings out.

©Ellen Pepper 2026

TICK. TICK. TOCK.

 Tick tick tick...

A drunken worker laughingly claims that he's ok
as he drives his machine into a ditch.
Dismounts and topples over into the muck.
Nobody recorded it. It won't go viral.

Tick tock tick.

A mother walks a pram,
the holes in her soles are seen.
The baby squalls and she heeds not,
Her mind is on the money track.

Tick tock tick...
Tick tock tick.

Leaves are unfurling all around.
Birds are nesting.
Animals breed.
The greening ground is slick with rain.

Tick tick tick

A woman on a treadmill feels pain,
Chest, neck, jaw.
Wonders if the heart is attacking.
Decides it's too complicated
to ask for help.

Tick tick tock

An old man still abed at noon.
No movement or sound.
No snore or audible breath.
Suddenly, a foot shifts.
He's still alive.

Tick tick tock.
Tick tock tick.

A blade snicks out of a boot,
Slicing will open tough skin.
Blood is lost, rancour grows.
Running feet are heard.

tick tock tick...
tick tock tick tock.

Time is not like a river.
Time is a collected series of events.
Vignettes.
What was once... and will never be again.
Tick tick tock

©Ellen Pepper 2026

Cracks in the Pavement

 Someone who was once part of your life
becomes part of your memories.
There's nothing you can do,
they're gone.
She's gone.

There are cracks in the pavement of love.
People trip over them all the time.
You can't step into the future,
when you're  stumbling over what's broken.

He lowers the blinds in his moldy motel room.
He has no plans for the future.
He needs to break this addiction, this habit.
This want for her touch.

The sweet scent of her hair.
The heady blue of her dissembling eyes.
Her glowing aura of falsity.
Her aching betrayal of his trust.

He sits on the sagging mattress
 and stares into space.
So utterly alone. Bereft.
She went to Toledo,
She never came back.

Is it death or is it defiance?
He'll never know.
He pays his bill and gets in his car.
He's going to find her.

She's not in Toledo anymore, he finds.
She's gone to Arizona now.
He rests his head on the steering wheel,
He'll drive to Dallas, instead.

He'll release himself from this need.
He'll start a new life.
All he has left is the memory...
of trust betrayed.
He is broken...

©Ellen Pepper 2026

I Won't Say Goodbye

 "Play the Adagio at my funeral," he said.
We looked into each other's eyes.
"People will cry, " said I.
"I've waited my life for that, "said he.

We were walking through High Park in the Spring.
Cherry trees in blossom.
A chill in the air that the sun dispelled.
Passersby didn't see that you were dying.

(I won't say goodbye.)

Remember when we were young?
Remember all the plans we made?
We were going to storm the world.
We were going to make it in the wild.

Your plan was to write, act and direct.
I was going to tend to others.
We meant to succeed and change the world.
But now you're dying before...

Before you've finished.
And I only have time to tend to you.
Our dreams failed to come true.
And...I'm losing you.
(Let's not say goodbye.)

I was there when you learned your fate.
You faked nonchalance, but
I know you well enough.
We clung like limpets to each other.

The funeral plans are set now.
I mourn your loss already.
You're fading by the day.
The spark has left your eyes.

(You'll soon say goodbye.)

I wish I could go with you.
The world will soon be too dark.
You'll be fine on the Other Side, I know it.
I'll be here without you.

Where will I store the memories?
Where will be my home...
when you're gone?
I won't say good bye.
I can't say goodbye.
Please stay.

  ©Ellen Pepper 2026

Standing on Shaky Ground

 We're all standing on shaky ground these days.
What would we do without each other?
Minds and hearts are dark with grim thoughts.
(We're standing on shaky ground)

Fake wars, fake leaders, fake money, fake people.
It's all falling apart.
Some days are worse than others.
What would we do without each other?
(We're  just standing on shaky ground)

The slumlord presses to evict.
The supermarket raises  prices  20% overnight.
Fuel costs are rising exponentially.
We're all standing on shaky ground.

Tectonic plates are grinding.
Volcanoes girding to pop their lids.
Wildfires burning up the world.
What would we do without each other?
(We're standing on shaky ground)

We're losing our jobs to robots.
The kids aren't being schooled.
People being stripped of autonomy.
We're all standing on shaky ground.
(Standing on shaky ground)

People are stolen from home, school and work.
Sent to foreign prisons without trial.
Murdered by the leader who despises them.
Billionaires flouting laws and ruining the planet.
They know their time is coming to an end.
(They're standing on shaky ground)

Where do we go from here?
There's so much change to be made.
We must get to a place of loving security.
We can't fix anything without each other.

What would we do if we didn't have each other?
(We're standing on shaky ground)

 ©Ellen Pepper 2026

Eulogy for a Quiet Man

 He spoke righteously,
if he spoke at all.
Oh, how the plethora of charmed women
hung on his every word,
albeit his type, they were not.

His black,wavy hair will no longer impress
the ladies who swooned.
His stately manner of dress decaying,
forgotten in his musty cupboard.

George NoMan is gone from this plane.
His like, to be seen no more.
A quiet man, cards held close to vest.
Saying not an extraneous word.

No one can claim to have known our George.
He kept to himself. He liked it that way.
No ties that bound 'til life was snuffed. 
No joys that taught of impending sorrow.

George had no living companion.
He preferred to be alone.
No one to care for.
No one to care for him.

He spent his days creating,
a stockpile of witticisms
to share at arms length.
Not wishing for fame, not prideful.

So now we lay dear George to rest.
His mouth silent forever.
So many secrets kept within. 
So many lies untold.

Our beloved George is NoMan,
for now - he is but a fading ghost.

Requiescat in Pace

©Ellen Pepper 2026

L'arôme des Anges

L'arôme des anges était présent dans ma chambre
 pendant que je dormais la nuit dernière.
 Ils sont venus m'escorter dans les profondeurs.
Nous avons descendu vers l'océan.
 Les vagues tourbillonnaient à notre entrée.

Et on déménageait...
(profondément...)
(profondément,)

Descendant plus profondément...
Dans l'océan.

L'eau est chaude comme un liquide amniotique.
Les couleurs, indescriptibles.
La myriade de formes de vie nous accueillit tels que nous étions...

(profondément...)
(profondément,)

descendant plus profondément...
dans l'océan.

Je me suis souvenu d'événements perdus dans le temps.
 Il y avait des moments où...
nous avons été blessés et des moments qui nous ont guéris.
 Voyant les visages de ceux qui m'avaient précédé,
 J'ai pleuré, mais j'ai ressenti de la joie.

Et nous étions encore...
(profondément...)
(profondément,)

Descendant plus profondément...
Dans l'océan.

Dans... La tranchée de Mariana.
 Nous ne pouvions pas aller plus loin.
 La ville y était illuminée de l'intérieur.
Nous sommes entrés dans le globe qui entourait,
et rencontré les êtres qui y vivaient.
Les anges riaient et s'amusaient partout.
L'air était frais et enivrant.
Nous avons parlé de beaucoup de choses.

Et puis, il était temps de revenir.
 Les anges portèrent mon âme vers le haut,
Se lever.
En montée.
Vers le haut.
Montant et montant.
S'élevant vers le haut.

Je me suis réveillé dans mon lit,
Au lever du soleil.
Les échos des rires anges étaient partout.
 Ils ont dit qu'ils reviendraient.
Ce souvenir a donné de la joie à mon esprit.

Les profondeurs de l'océan
ressemblaient à une visite dans l'espace.
Il y a une vie secrète dans l'abîme caché.

©Ellen Pepper 2026

Remember When...

 Remember the day you tried to kill me?
 In your precious '65 Buick Electra 225,
with power steering, windows, seats, locks.
And air conditioning; with automatic transmission.
You were so proud of it. 

You LOVED that car.

Yeah, it was a beauty. You treasured that car.
And you were going to drive it into the bridge,
with us in it,
just because I said that it was time for me to move on.
You knew that it was inevitable.
I'd told you so many times.

Anyway, I remember how you drove wildly through the streets.
Like a man possessed,
your white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel never faltered.
You shouted that you wouldn't live without me,
even though you' d been doing so for months.

I bet you wondered how I could remain so calm
as we neared the end you'd chosen for us.
How I didn't scream, or try to grab the wheel,
or even make an effort to talk you out of it.

You LOVED that car.

All I did was say that you'd break the car.
Something inside your madness must have heard me,
because your foot slammed the brake  so quickly,
that even you were surprised.

You REALLY loved that car.

You calmed right down and
pulled over. 
Parked your precious car.

And then,
we talked of how it would be,
said our final farewells,
and you drove me home, safely.

We'd laugh about that day now,
 if we still knew each other.

You really loved that car.

©Ellen Pepper 2026

Scent of Angels

 The scent of angels was in my room as I slept last night.
They came to escort me into the deep.
We wafted our way to the ocean.
The waves were churning as we entered.

And we were...
Sinking
Down
Sinking
Down
Sinking
Sinking down.

The water warm as amniotic fluid.
The colours, indescribable.
The myriad life forms greeted us as we were...
Sinking
Down
Sinking
Down
Sinking
Sinking down.

I remembered things that had been lost in time.
There were moments that...
hurt and
moments that healed.
Seeing the faces of those who'd gone before,
I wept, yet felt joy.

And we were still...
Sinking
Down
Sinking
Down
Sinking
Sinking down.
Into...
The trench of Mariana.
We could go no deeper.
The city there was illuminated from within.
We entered the globe that surrounded,
and met the beings who lived there.
The angels laughed and larked about.
The air was fresh and intoxicating.
We spoke of many things.

And then, it was time to return.
The angels carried my soul upward,
Rising up.
Rising.
Upward.
Rising and rising.
Rising upward.

I woke in my bed,
as the sun rose.
The echoes of angel laughter all around.
They said they'd come again.
The memory elated my mind.

The ocean depths were like a space visit.
There's hidden life in the secret abyss.

©Ellen Pepper 2026

Running Out of Road

 And I told him that I'm running out of road.
He asked if I was close to driving over the cliff.
I laughed and pushed harder on the gas pedal.
He squealed in terror, the big, strong man.

We were heading down toward the edge of eternity,
on the way to an old new life...
 or the end of this one.
I felt devil-may-care but he was uncertain.

The dust on the road was thick and sandy.
Tumbleweeds taunting as they flirt with the road.
Rhapsody in Blue filling the car.
He'd never heard it... isn't sure  it's road trip music.

If it wasn't for the revelation of the secret,
we'd still be stuck in the morass of expectations.
Finding the truth about betrayal has
set us free.

And we drove and drove...
looking for redemption.
Looking for the place where truth
always matters.

Looking for someone to trust.
Looking for a love that persists.
Looking for the home we never found.
Looking for a dream to come true.

He says we should take Route 66.
And stay at the Hotel California.
I fear that his mind has been broken.
Some folks can't take heart ache.

And we drove and drove...
looking for redemption.

The edge of the cliff is near now.
Do we go out like Thelma and Louise?
The big guy is not Brad Pitt,
neither is he dead.

I bring the car up to the brink,
and ask...Are you ready to meet your Maker?
The big guy cries and doesn't want to die.
Sighing, I U turn and
drive to the nearest town to drop him off.

I'll return to the precipice alone.
Because...
I drive and drive...
looking for redemption.

I drive and drive...
looking for redemption.

 I'm still looking.

 

 ©Ellen Pepper 2026

 

Lemony Yellow Sunlight

 A humid Tuesday in July.
Skin already sticky.
Clouds threatening an imminent storm.
A queen with her kitten eating kibble near a parked car.
The other ferals in wait at their usual feeding spot.

The a/c unit compressor is humming to beat the band.
A strange brother sleeping in his flannel shirt.
The house cat hiding from thunder in the closet.
Butterflies swooping and dancing in air.
Crows cawing. A rooster crowing.
These are a few of the summery things.

Last night's dream still echoes in the mind.
A different time and place with
an entire life being lived.
So many known people
who've never been met
in my "real life", my "awake" life.

The lemon-yellow sunlight in the dream's scene.
A cafe by the ocean. Tang of salt water in the air.
Gaily dressed party people boozing away the afternoon.
Laughter and music all around.
The hypnotic waves start to build -
someone says it's  a storm front.

A woman named Angela turns to me to say that
she's always loved this place.
She can't imagine spending January anywhere else.
I wonder where we are that winter feels so warm.

I realize that I'm dreaming.
And I'm hot.
I wake up to my "real"  life.
The dream still haunts though nothing really happened there.

It's a humid Tuesday in July.
Skin already sticky. Clothes clinging.
Clouds threatening an imminent storm.
The mood of the dream has set the tone of the day...
my mind holds the image of sunlight,
while dark clouds roll in from the west.

 ©Ellen Pepper 2026

Quo vadis?

 Quo vadis?
Where are you going?
Are you climbing a pine-treed mountain path,
searching for the God of your youth?

Are you walking on a busy city street,
where you heed the wisdom of the elder
 who lives outside the bakery?

Maybe you're strolling the brazenly green lawn
where the idle rich live.

Quo vadis, my friend? Quo?

I see you standing at the precipice of
understanding grace and favor -
grace being the unearned favor of your God.

You're preparing to move into a new dimension.
You'll tackle new challenges.
You'll stride, head held high,
while navigating changed standards.

 Quo vadis, my friend? Quo?

Can you sense the alteration of the air?
This is unfamiliar, yet welcoming.
You've devised a plan for the rest of your life.
Now, where will it take you?

Is there a Plan B lest the direction be askew?
Are you ready for the heady change?
Choosing the high road or low will matter.
Be certain of your intentions.

You've waited all your life for this moment.
Living in eternal readiness will benefit you now.
Every step you take brings you closer.
Your happiest dreams will come true.

Quo vadis, my friend? Quo?
Quo vadis, my friend?

 ©Ellen Pepper 2026

WAITING, ALWAYS

 I've spent my lifetime waiting.
Waiting to be born.
Waiting to learn to read.
Waiting to go to school.

Waiting for school days to end.
Waiting for summer vacation.
Waiting to graduate.
Waiting for a job offer.

Waiting for friends to come and go.
Waiting for friend's babies to be born.
Waiting while friends abandon spouses.

Waiting to pick up the pieces of broken hearts.

Waiting for audition results.
Waiting to move to Manhattan.
Waiting to walk onstage.
Waiting for my cue to skidoo.

Waiting for trains, planes, buses and cars.
Waiting to pass through airport security.
Waiting for a ride while hitch-hiking out west.
Waiting to escape a serial killer.

Waiting to move to new homes.
Waiting for an unwanted wedding.
Waiting for the expected divorce decree.
Waiting for freedom after bondage.

Waiting for letters that never came.
Waiting to be finally understood.
Waiting to tell the true story of a life.
Waiting to give a damn.

Waiting in doctor's offices.
Waiting on government action.
Waiting for payments to arrive.
Waiting for parcel delivery.

Waiting for resolution of an untenable situation.
Waiting for humanity to grow up.
Waiting for loving kindness to return.

Always waiting.
Interminable waiting. A lifetime of waiting.
And one day, waiting for a merciful death.
Waiting for a peaceful termination.

Waiting, always waiting.

 ©Ellen Pepper 2026

In Days of Yore

 Once upon a time, in days of yore,
the troubador, Eldric Verseborn, from Stratford on Avon,
 rode to the court of the Indigo King, Elwyn the Blue.
He oft ventured there for the fine victuals and wine.

The ladies enjoyed his company,
 and the knights asked favors.
The favor most oft sought for was songs of courtly love and devotion.

Late, one snowy night, Sir Magnus Trueblade
came to the bard to beg a song to be written
 with which to woo Fair Eleanor, known as Skywatcher.

He held little hope that she'd look upon him with favor,
since he wasn't as nobly born as other knights.
No matter, though, because his ardor for her
was giving him nights bereft of sleep and
filled with the torture of relentless concupiscence.

The Troubadour Eldric readily agreed and
 sat with quill and parchment -
to bring to song the words of love,
while playing down the knight's lust.

He idealized her beauty and wit,
not saying much of her sharp tongue.
He claimed that Magnus felt noble devotion,
while putting aside his wild libido.

He mentioned that the Lady, being high born,
would spurn the love of Sir Magnus.
This was only to be expected.
However, nobody knew Eleanor's heart
 but the lady, herself.

Come the evening of the Feast of Christmas,
Eldric sat in the Great Hall with the court and King in attendance.
Came the moment he'd sing the song of Magnus,
He pointedly glanced at the Lady Eleanor who sat surrounded by eager suitors.

Magnus quaffed a goblet of wine and steeled himself for her reaction.
Eldric announced that the song was meant for the lady.
He mentioned Magnus.
A hush descended on the hall as eye met eye in shocked surprise -
this love was beyond the pale.

The song was lovely and calming.
It showed deep yearning, Eternal love was vowed.
The longing was sincere. The future promise was pled.
Eleanor glanced at Magnus with changed expression.

What no one knew is that Eleanor had ever pined for Magnus.
She craved his warmth and kindness.
She admired his strength and wisdom.
She felt safe in his presence.

Even though Eleanor and Magnus were not expected to wed,
they did that on the first day of Spring.
All were charmed by their loving dedication.
They may have lived happily ever after. 
 

©Ellen Pepper 2026

Savage Spirits

 We are savages to each other.
We're not trusted to keep hearts safe.
Though deep soul love lies within,
we lacerate with our words when we hurt.

We're ferocious, yet unmoved. 
We're dangerous - even terrifying.

A spirit is forged in fire.
The beast unleashed will
release the rage.
There'll be fire in the belly and
the cage bars will be bashed down.

Untamed love is a battlefield.
A fated call to arms.
The choice is between giving in 
or giving up.
What will it be, in the end?

Fight with the spirit of abandon.
Push back the desire to touch the past.
This battle can never be won without casualties.
Grapple with and defeat the savage within.

It's time to drop the dragging weight -
it's not your burden to bear.
Something great never happened,
'cause it was seen as simply a dare.

Make a choice.
Release the rage.
Nothing lasts forever.

©Ellen Pepper 2026